Fail ~ July 19, 2008: 11:31pm
Just for one moment, another person took over my body,
I feel like such a failure,
I feel so disgusting right now,
How can I be so gross as to eat right after I set a goal?
I am so fucking weak.
I ate ½ a bag of popcorn.
That is so repulsive, I’m repulsive.
after that I took like 8 laxative pills,
It hurts so much right now, and it’s what I deserve for being so gross.
Yes I’m home alone in a house full of food, but I need to have more willpower than to sink so low as to eat like that.
650 calories. So much. So Gross.
I hate myself so much right now.
Tomorrow is going to be different, I need to be better.
For now: listening to my favorite Pro-ana and Pro-mia songs.
My personal favorite is: Courage By Superchick
That song is so inspirational to me.
“What I do know is how I changed my life forever,
I know I should know better,
There are days when I’m okay,
And for a moment,
For a moment I find hope,
But there are days when I’m not okay,
And I need your help.”
